unsure...

School will be finished in five months. One month to wait for my grades. One month of holidays and then...? At the moment (ok more like the last 6 months) I'm thinking to spend some time somewhere else than Germany. 

I first thought about America. It did not work. I thought about New Zealand. It was just not my country. I thought about Canada. And I'm still thinking about it. I also thought about India and I'm still thinking about it. 

I want to go. I want to discover, to learn, to meet people. 

But  sometimes I'm scared. I'm scared to be alone. To meet situations I did not expect. To learn that things, which I thought would mean a lot for me, are not what I really want. 

But on the other side. Isn't it exactly about all this? To handle situations you did not expect. To learn to cope with disappointments, to face your fear?

It is easy to say "I want to face my fear" It's ways harder to do it. 

I already did it. I spent half a year in Australia. When I was 16! Alone! (It did not feel like something big though) I wonder why I changed so much. Why I'm thinking so much about this one decision.

Anyway. I have a deadline. I'll do it this month. (And I'm pretty sure I'll do it. I just didn't have the courage to fill out the papers yet)

Life is about meeting your fears. It's about discovering. 

I will try to remember it when I'm about to fill out the documents. (Hopefully)